Wednesday, May 6, 2015

I'm baaacckkk!

I have been trying to get back to the blogosphere for some time now.  Life has been so crazy busy and certainly gotten the best of me lately, especially in these last couple of months!  I feel embarrassed that it's been a solid year since I posted last!  So, I will do a little catching up on the fam for you :)

Scott--He's been back in the autism classroom this year, and while it is not easy by any means, he feels at home there.  He is so incredibly gifted to work with those with special needs.  I see the Lord so clearly working through him as he loves, cares, and advocates.  He has been coaching Shepard and Davis in baseball this year.  He's an amazing daddy and husband. It's really been so fun!  Not easy, mind you, especially not on the mama, but I wouldn't trade these memories for anything :)

Paige--You guys.  She is almost finished with 5th grade!  Like, elementary school is done. * Lets all take a moment while I recompose myself over this life event.*  She is just so precious.  She has grown so much this year, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.  She is entering the tween era, where she is still a sweet, simple little girl, but is curious and readying for what lies ahead.  She is gonna homeschool next year for middle school.  We have prayed over this decision for many years and the Lord has been clear.  We have had excellent teachers and been part of an excellent school these elementary years.  Her teachers have been phenomenal!    Middle school is just different.  Such formative years.  The middle school teachers are still equally great.  In fact, it's a down right calling to be a middle school teacher!  But, through the Lord's leading, we will attempt 6th grade at home.  I'm gonna take it year by year and evaluate.  Hopefully I won't mess her up too bad!!  You can pray :)

Annalee--Annalee has rocked the 3rd grade like no other.  She is so spunky and fun!  Not much gets her down.  She's very easy to parent for the most part.  When she has to be corrected, she never argues!  What!?  She just says "yes, ma'am" and lets it roll right off her.  But, because she's so easy, it's easy to skip over her.  I hate that I do that to her :(  She has the middle child role.  I have to try to consciously make a good effort to affirm and spend special time with her.  With five kids, that doesn't happen nearly enough!  But she is gracious and kind, and still always has a skip in her step :)  The Lord teaches me through parenting her, that he sees me.  Even when I feel looked over in life sometimes, He sees me.  I am thankful for those lessons through our children!

Davis--Davis is finishing up 1st grade!  He is reading so well, and when he takes his time, he has better handwriting than I do!  He has matured so much this year.  Really growing into himself.  He played soccer this Fall and had a blast and is currently finishing up his first Rookie season, where they hit off the pitching machine.  He started not being able to make contact with the ball at all.  And progressively through the season, he has gotten better and better.  It's been amazing to watch!  He even got an in the park home run last Saturday!!!  I have been 'that mom'.  I'm talking jumping up and down cheering like a mad fool…on more than one occasion.  He'll be embarrassed by me one day, but for now he just gives his shy grin, and I want to just pinch him!

Shepard--Oh Sheppy.  That brother, as most of you know, has broken the mold.  He is hilarious, smart, creative, and can be oh so stubborn.  We have had to learn some new parenting moves on that brother :)  But, I really do enjoy him being home with me.  He's gonna go to school next year two days a week; and it will be good for him, but I will certainly miss all his crazy antics.  He is all boy on so many levels.  I love him so.  He stretches me more than the others typically.  Most days I hate that.  But, on days that I can reflect, the Lord is sweet to remind me that I am a work in progress as well, and sometimes, I act like a stubborn toddler myself!

Judah--Judah baby, just celebrated his first birthday.  How in the world?  He is so snuggly and fun.  He is saying and repeating lots of words like mama, dada, bye bye, go, ball,…etc.  He started walking not long after his birthday and he is  With Shep as his older brother, he is already learning to defend himself ;)  I hold him more.  I give into him more.  I kiss his yummy little cheeks constantly.  I want him to stay little!!  He's a fun addition, and he reminds me almost daily of my mama, and I love that the Lord did that.

Me--I'm tired these days.  It's that season where everything is busy as we wrap up the end of the year, and with working some evenings at the hospital on top of that, and baseball, and bible study meetings, and all that the Lord has marked out for me right now, I literally fall into bed exhausted!  It's a good tired I guess.  But sometimes I just get so caught up in wanting to complain about it, that I miss the fact that the Lord is in the midst of it all.  I want my heart to be more accepting in allowing the Lord to pour me out each day as He chooses.  I fail. A lot.  At parenting, being a good wife, a good friend, a good leader.  And when I'm certain that I'm at the end of myself, I sleep, and wake up to new mercies everyday, just like He promised.
 I still miss my mama.  This second year so far, has almost felt harder.  A different kind of hard maybe.  There's just more permanence. It's lonely.  I still find myself randomly wanting to call her.  I thought that knee-jerk reaction would've gone away by this point.  I grieve her especially as we approach Mother's Day.  It is a really joyous and honoring time, but it makes me sad too, because I just can't make it feel right without her.  She has left a beautiful legacy, and I'm so grateful for that.  By the grace of God, I hope to be even half the woman she was :)