Friday, May 9, 2014
Judah Asher Parks is finally here! He was born on April 7, 2014 at 4:10 pm and weighed 6 lbs 12 oz. We were all instantly in love. Well, except Shepard :) He had some warming up to do ;) Shep is a great big brother, just a little rough around the edges if you know what I mean! Judah has been oh so sweet. I hold him. A lot. He has been exactly what the Lord intended him to be so far. A welcomed joy that is filled with hope. He is special.
The joy of his birth comes mixed with emotions of grief as well. I miss my mom. Its been almost 6 months since she passed. 6 months without my mom. I want it to be easier. Sometimes it is. Other times it's just not. I could not imagine her not being here for the birth of this precious boy, and even the day of delivery, with all the family and friends that surrounded us, it felt like there was a gaping hole in the room where she should've been. It was all so very bittersweet.
Mother's Day is this weekend. I find myself wanting to skip it altogether. This particular holiday is harder than others because it was a day marked out to honor her! I don't want life to keep moving on without her. I have voicemails on my phone that I listen to, just to hear her voice. I let Judah listen too, so he can know what she sounded like. I just can't believe this is reality sometimes!
So, in light of remembering her on this upcoming Mother's Day, I wanted to jot down a few things, out of pages that I could fill, that made her so special:
-She loved the Lord.
-She was a faithful wife.
-She worked so hard.
-She loved fiercely.
-She chose to see the best in people.
-She sacrificed herself for the good of others. ALOT.
-She was tough.
-She was a fighter.
-She was a loyal friend to many.
-She was a servant.
-She was so hospitable.
-She was forgiving.
-She was strong.
-She was thoughtful.
-She was the BEST Mimi.
-She was my mama.
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Annie, I lost my mom when I was 14. Mother's Day was a day that I just wanted to skip as well. It wasn't until I became a mom that I was able to embrace the day. It's been 28 years that she has been gone. I take comfort knowing that she is in Heaven and in no more pain, but there is a huge part of me that misses her. I have now been able to love the day. I still miss her presence in my life and wonder what she would have thought about my husband and my girls. I always miss her, but I find myself choosing joy and cherishing the memories. My prayers are with you this Mother's Day. Hold those precious babies close and love on them.
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